Emerging from my cocoon

We're having a book launch and signing for my novel Seeing Red on October 15th. I dreamed about this day for so long. So why am I terrified?

It's easy being a brave writer in your own home office. I should know - I've been doing it for a couple of years now. You know what's not easy? It's not easy to leave the comfort and solitude of that room and head out into the world. But the time has come.

I've been forced to venture out of my cocoon a few times already. It started when I had to let someone outside my immediate family read what I had written. Ok, sure, I only went to my next door neighbor. But we didn't have the kind of relationship that allowed for asking each other to spend hours doing something. The moment she took the manuscript from my hand I hurried back into my comfort zone. 

Then I read somewhere that I was supposed to have a website, a blog, a social media presence. I needed a picture of myself for all those things. That's when the comical image of me behind my computer wearing sunglasses came in. I searched the background of the photo, making sure that there weren't any identifying landmarks that could pinpoint my location. I wanted plausible deniability. I finally agreed to release it. 

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Then I began writing my blog. I've exposed even more of myself through my posts. Some revealing my insecurities, some recounting embarrassing personal stories, some disclosing things that you probably didn't need to know about me, like how I had the hots for my brother's GI Joe

All these things were helping me to break out of my cocoon.

The time has come for my book launch. I've set myself up, the best I could, to go out into the public (e.g. I chose a venue that serves alcohol.) I promise to show up without my laptop and sunglasses. I'll have a smile on my face and be grateful for the experience. 

When I wrote the dedication of my novel, it was for my family. I wrote simply, "Thank you for letting me spread my wings." Because through their love and support they have allowed me to break through the fear and emerge, fully formed, the person I am supposed to be.

Darci McIntyre1 Comment